


oh no no

by someidiothasice



Series: Crazy in Love [5]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: AU, music industry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-11
Updated: 2015-12-11
Packaged: 2018-05-06 04:36:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5403218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someidiothasice/pseuds/someidiothasice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Claude, listen to me." Max grabbed him by his upper arms and gave him a little shake. "You are not allowed to go on a date with Jakub Voracek. He barely speaks English!"</p><p>"Right, cause that's the big problem here."</p>
            </blockquote>





	oh no no

“Hey, Roux!”

Claude turned around to see a huge bouquet of brightly colored gerber daisies walking over to him. They plopped down on a desk with a thunk and Haley from reception appeared from behind them.

“You got a delivery this morning.”

“I can see that,” Claude said, eyeing the flowers with a grin. They were his favorite, but that was pretty much common knowledge after the _E! News_ special ran last month. He buried his face in them, inhaling deeply. “Are they from Giuliana? God, that’s one cheeky woman.”

“Nope.” Haley reached in the bouquet, fishing around until her hand popped out with a tiny card. It had already been opened. He gave her the stinkeye and she smiled cheerfully back at him. “Check this out.”

Max loomed over his shoulder as Claude pulled a rectangle of cardstock out of the tiny envelope and stared down at the near-illegible handwriting.

_That was a very impressive performance!_  
_Congratulations on the awards! You deserved them all and more._  
_Maybe we could grab a drink sometime? Call me!_  
_Jakub_

There was a phone number at the bottom of the message.

“Oh my god,” Max choked out. “ _Jakub_ is sending you flowers and asking you out for drinks? What level of hell have I fallen into?”

Claude stared down at the card, dumbfounded. “I winked at him last night during the show. I didn’t think he’d take it as a come on.” He looked up, eyes wide. “What am I supposed to do with this?”

“Claude, listen to me.” Max grabbed him by his upper arms and gave him a little shake. “You are not allowed to go on a date with Jakub Voracek. He barely speaks English!”

“Right, cause that’s the big problem here. Trust me, I wasn’t thinking of entertaining… this.” Claude placed the card gingerly on the table, like it was a time bomb just waiting to go off. “That’s just waaay too many exclamation points. And he’s not even attractive!”

“Jesus, thank god you’re shallow.” Max nodded at Haley, who scooped up the flowers and started to head off with them.

“Hey!” Claude called. Haley turned around. “I still like the flowers. Leave them. And I am not shallow.”

“Of course you’re shallow. It’s one of my favorite things about you, kid. Also, are you kidding? Nobody can see you leaving the building with those! It’ll be all over TMZ in five minutes that foreign white rappers are after your ass. I told you the leather was a bad idea.”

“More like five seconds,” Jeff said, appearing from around a corner. Claude’s face lit up when he saw the blonde and they hugged tightly while Max swore up a storm in french. Jeff waved his phone in his direction after he pulled back. “Kidding, kidding. They only have some pics of you entering the building. That’s how I knew you were here, too. Good job at the VMAs last night, buddy. Pretty clean sweep across the board.”

“Nevermind that,” Claude waved off the praise. “It’s so good to see you. How’s LA been treating you?”

“It’s been great. It’s nice not being in front of the camera anymore, but tough finding a good place to stay.” Jeff nodded at the pretty embarrassing display of daisies on the desk. “I see it’s been good for you, too. Are those really from Jakub?”

“Oh my god.” Max stepped between them and shook his finger in Jeff’s face. “Jeffrey, you are _not allowed_ to tweet, instagram, or even talk to anyone about this. I will eat your firstborn in front of you.”

Jeff raised an eyebrow. “Well, that’s a little much all over a couple of flowers.”

“Don’t mind him, Carts,” Claude said, tugging Max back a respectable distance. “He hasn’t been house trained yet. Don’t get too close, he might pee on your shoes.”

“Haha, you’re hilarious.” Max smacked Claude in the back of the head with his itinerary. “Just for that you are definitely not doing _Ellen_ again.”

“What? No!” Claude made grabby hands at the rolled up papers. Max held them out of reach. “You can’t do that to me! I love Ellen!”

“Of course you’re going on _Ellen_. You think I would let that opportunity pass me by? All that gay on one stage. It’s so beautiful, it makes me want to weep rainbow tears and get out my velour thong for the next Pride Parade.”

Jeff laughed but Claude made a face.

“Don’t laugh, Carts, he’s not joking about the thong. I’ve seen it.”

“Aaaand that’s my cue. I’ll let you guys do your thing,” Jeff said, taking a few steps backwards. He smiled at Claude again. “Congratulations on the wins, G. Text me later. We’ll go out and get photographed and make your rapping boytoy jealous.”

“Your firstborn, Carter!” Max called as Jeff walked away. When he reached the end of the hall Jeff turned around and took a quick pic with his phone of Claude’s face once again buried in the flowers. “God _damn_ it. Maria!” he shouted.

“Yes, boss?” They turned to see Max’s assistant standing right behind them with her iPad in her hands and a bored look on her face. Max almost tripped over his own feet in his surprise but recovered quickly.

“Get on Twitter. Search for Roux and if that pic shows up make sure any and all captions featuring Jakub are nixed, fast.”

“Sure thing, boss.”

Claude and Max watched her turn around, already tapping away at her iPad.

"Has she been there the entire time?" Max asked quietly.

“I have no idea. She terrifies me,” Claude confessed. Max snorted, ushering him and his flowers into his office.

“You don’t even know the half of it.” Max plucked a purple daisy out of the bunch and tucked it behind his ear, much to Claude's dismay. "One year for Christmas she bought my wife a gun and a year of lessons at the range. Try to stay on her good side and you'll be gold, Ponyboy."

"Ponyboy?"

Max shook his head sadly. "Jesus, what are they teaching you kids these days?"

* * *

“I love everyone in this bar,” Claude said happily, throwing himself on a plush couch. He was flushed and sweaty from all the dancing he’d been doing. Jeff laughed and ruffled his hair.

“Everyone wants a piece of you,” Jeff said with a smile. “Are you surprised? Last year you were babysitting Danny’s boys. Two days ago you walked away from the VMAs with six Moonmen.”

“Oh! Thanks for reminding me.” Claude pulled out his phone and began typing madly at it. “The boys all wanted to come, but Danny would have murdered me so I had to promise them pictures of all their favorite singers. Check it out, I had drinks with Lady GaGa in the green room.”

“Sweet.” Jeff barely looked at the pic, which would’ve been an affront to Claude’s soul but he knew that Jeff really couldn’t care less about the industry. He had always been happier to let Mike and Claude be the faces of the band, and when they’d broken up he had jumped at the opportunity to produce.

Claude was sorting through his pictures, trying to find the best ones to send the kids, when a hostess appeared with a tray. There were two champagne glasses on it, along with a bucket of ice with a bottle of Dom Pérignon sticking out of it.

“Hey, Roux. I’m Emma. This is for you guys, compliments of the gentleman over in VIP.” She gestured over her shoulder. They both looked over the balcony. Behind the roped off portion of the club was Jakub and his entourage, mostly clad in denim and ball caps with heavy chains swinging around their necks. Jakub lifted a hand when he noticed them looking and gave Claude a big smile.

“Jesus christ,” Claude muttered. He waved back, mouthing a ‘thank you’ before he turned around. “This is getting out of hand. Quick, Carts, grab my ass or something.”

“You’re sitting down, idiot.” Jeff waved at Jakub too, then dropped his arm over Claude’s shoulders. “Look, I think he’s jealous.”

“First flowers, now champagne?” Claude shrugged, giving the hostess the okay for the bottle. She poured their drinks and left them alone, but Claude noticed she didn’t go far. “What is this guy even thinking? And since when are rappers even gay? Won’t he be kicked out of his club of thugs for entertaining this?”

“Jakub is like royalty in his circle. He can do pretty much anything he wants, and it looks like now he wants to do you,” Jeff said with a leer, taking his arm back so he could pick up a glass. He took a drink and practically moaned. “Jesus, this stuff is great. At least he’s got good taste and isn’t sending over that Cristal shit.”

“Well, he can’t have me! I am unhavable. Unable to be had,” Claude said, picking up the other glass. He took a drink as well and savored it. “God, I love Dom. How the hell did this even happen?”

“Jesus, you didn’t see?” Jeff whipped out his phone. In a few seconds he had youtube up, and Claude watched with a sinking feeling in his stomach as he caught sight of that fruitcake Sean Avery.

He was one of Claude’s biggest supporters. He was also one of Hollywood’s biggest celebrity gossips. After Claude had come out he’d trawled through hours of video footage for any time Claude had hugged, touched, or, fuck, _smiled_ at another man, then proceeded to put together a twenty-two minute long video dedicated to Claude’s homosexuality and why his coming out was one of the greatest things to happen in the music industry “since Prince dropped that whole the Artist slash Love Symbol bullshit.”

The fact that eighty percent of the video was shots of him hugging or grinning at Danny made Claude’s lip curl. Of course Scotty, Jeff and Mike were all featured as well, but Avery had an entire section on his website dedicated to the “Brioux (B?)romance.” It would be cute if it wasn’t so horrifying.

Claude watched as Avery showed his performance from the VMAs in slow motion. In the video Claude winked suggestively down into the crowd. The camera cut away to show Jakub in his ever present flat bill snapback, staring up at him with wide eyes. Simmer, sitting next to him, was laughing at Jakub’s expression. The video then cut to the end of the performance, a quick shot of Claude shirtless and thanking the audience, and then another shot of the crowd.

Jakub was still looking stunned, clapping as though in a daze with his mouth slightly open. The video cut to Simmer being interviewed after the awards, holding his own Moonman.

“Yeah, the award was pretty cool, but the highlight of tonight was definitely listening to Jakey talk about Roux all night. He’s been on his radar ever since Roux came out. I think it’s safe to say Jakey enjoyed his performance.”

The video once again shot to Claude winking and Jakub staring up at him with something like awe on his face, Avery’s commentary on Jakub looking “like he’d seen the face of God, if God wore leather and sang like a temptress” dubbed over it. Claude pushed Jeff’s phone away.

“Okay, enough. I get it. We’re both out and proud, whatever. Couldn’t he have imprinted on somebody else, though?”

Jeff snorted into his champagne.

“Take the compliment, buddy. You should have at least gone over to thank him.” He set his empty glass down and the hostess was back in seconds to refill it. She was very pretty. And very blonde, with very large breasts. Jeff smiled winningly at her. “Let me ask you a question, Emma. If a guy spends a few hundred on a very nice bottle for you and a guy who may or may not be your boyfriend, don’t you at least go over and say hello?”

“Well, if the guy is my boyfriend, then no.” She glanced over at Roux through her lashes, then focused on Jeff. “But if I’m single then the least I could do for a guy willing to drop that kind of cash is say hey. Especially if that guy is Jakub Voracek.”

“See?” Jeff gave him a serene smile. “You should go say hi. Or thanks. Or even no thanks.”

“You’re supposed to be on my side!” Claude downed the rest of his drink and Emma refilled it in a flash. “He looks like a muppet! What would we even talk about?”

“Music. Being out. How awful Britney’s dress was.”

“It wasn’t that bad!”

“It really was,” Emma agreed. She lingered for a moment. “You’re gay. Aren’t you supposed to know things like that?” Emma chided him before she walked a few feet away again, this time looking over her shoulder at Jeff.

“Fuck me, she’s beautiful. Please go away so I can talk to her,” Jeff moaned quietly. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“You’d throw me to the wolf to try to get laid?” Claude said, outraged. He looked back over his shoulder at Emma and relented. If he swung that way he’d probably do the same. She was a knockout.

“I’d sell my grandmother to hit that.”

“She’s way out of your league.” Claude picked up his glass and downed the entire thing, bringing her back over in seconds. He held his hand over it, though, and she relented. “Fine, I’ll go say hi. If I don’t come back assume he kidnapped me and I’m being kept in chains somewhere in a third world country. Emma, feel free to drink the rest of my share of this.”

Claude got up and made his way to the stairs. He was only stopped once, by a kid with a half sleeve who wanted to let Claude know how brave he was.

Tyler was good looking; he had a very tight t-shirt on that showed off his abs and a flirtatious smile. He was tall, with dark hair that looked thick and perfect for sinking a pair of hands into, and exactly Claude’s type. Claude almost gave up on his mission, especially when Tyler asked for a pic and proceeded to place his hand very low on Claude’s back while he pulled out his phone for a selfie. It did give him an idea, though.

A few minutes later he was walking up to the roped off VIP area, where a harried looking guy immediately ushered him in and then proceeded to badger his underlings on why Claude hadn’t been brought there in the first place. Claude rolled his eyes and walked right up to Jakub’s table.

“Hi.”

Jakub’s sidekick, Simmer, got up hastily and made room for Claude to sit down. He smacked some of the other guys in Jakub’s immediate vicinity over the back of the head and they got up as well.

“Heeeey, Roux. I think we’ll go… somewhere else.”

“Subtle,” he said with a lopsided grin. Simmer touched the tip of his hat at him and took off, pumping his fists once he was in the crowd. He turned to see Jakub staring at him with a small smile on his face. “He’s a charmer.”

“He’s not bad. He helped me a lot when I first made the trip across the pond.”

Claude didn’t exactly fidget, but he couldn’t quite get comfortable. It could have been because of the rest of Jakub’s boys at the tables around them, trying desperately to pretend they weren’t watching. “So, thanks for the champagne.”

“You’re welcome.” Jakub looked down at the table, then back up at him through his lashes. His eyes were very blue, even in the dim club. “You were amazing the other night.”

“Thanks again.” Claude scratched the back of his neck. “And, uh, congratulations on the award. Sorry I beat you out for the other one, though.”

“I’m not.” Claude looked up, startled. Jakub was still smiling at him. “The video for _Captain_ was groundbreaking. It had a great message. You deserved it.”

“So you said.” Claude smiled despite his resolve to let Jakub down gently. “I got your flowers, by the way. That was sweet of you. I love gerber daisies.”

“I know. I hope your boyfriend didn’t mind,” Jakub said, gesturing out into the club. “I had no idea you were dating somebody. I’m sorry if I caused any trouble between you two.”

Claude bit his lip. He didn’t really like to lie, and Jakub seemed sincere. Shame he wasn’t into him. “Oh, no. No trouble. He’s not actually my boyfriend. That’s Jeff Carter, one of the guys I was in First Line with.”

“Oh! Okay.” Jakub looked down at the table for a moment, trying and failing to hide a big grin. “You could have brought him with you.”

“He’d rather try and pull a girl three times hotter than he is.” He glanced up at the balcony to see Emma was sitting on the couch now, tray tucked close in at her side. “And succeeding, from the looks of it. Hope she doesn’t get into any trouble.”

“Oh, no. Her orders were to keep you two happy up there.” Jakub shifted to give Claude his full attention. “And since you’re here with me then her job is to keep _him_ happy. But I’ll be honest. I had an ulterior motive to getting your attention.”

Claude tried not to tense up. Here it came.

“I was wondering…” Jakub looked over Claude’s shoulder, pursing his lips. “Would you considering maybe doing a collaboration with me?”

“Look, I don’t think… wait, what?” Claude blinked. That wasn’t what he was expecting at all. “You want to collab?”

“I know rap isn’t really your style, but you’ve got such an amazing vocal range,” Jakub said in a rush, “and I’ve been working on this track that I really think you’d like. Your voice would be perfect for the hook.”

“Oh!” Claude perked up. This he could work with. “Well, okay then. I mean, we’ll have to go through our guys, first. And I’ll definitely need to hear what you’ve got. But I’m not saying no.”

“Great! Here,” Jakub pulled out his phone, tapping at the screen before a studio program came up. He handed his phone to Claude. “That’s the riff, if you want to hear.”

Claude was just about to hit ‘play’ when another hostess came up to their table.

“Excuse me, Roux, but there’s a gentleman over by the bar who says he found something of yours. He says it’s urgent.”

Claude looked up and saw Tyler who, just like he was asked, waved at him and held up Claude’s phone. Claude sighed. Now that he knew all Jakub wanted was to sing together he didn’t need or really want the extraction. But he did need his phone.

He glanced up at Jakub, who looked disappointed.

“Sorry, Jakub, but I should…” Claude said. Jakub nodded, reaching for his phone. Claude was about to hand it over when he snatched it back real quick. He found the keypad and, without thinking about it too hard, punched in his number. “Here, that’s me. Give me a call. We’ll figure something out.”

“Great! I’ll call you, then.” Jakub gave him a big grin and stood when Claude did. He leaned in and wrapped his arms around Claude. Claude gave his back a few rough pats before pulling back.

“And you can call me Jake.” Jakub hesitated before leaning in and giving him a scratchy kiss on the cheek. Claude smiled and gave him a small wave before heading back to the dance floor and over to Tyler.

“There you are, pristine as promised.” Tyler leaned close in Claude’s personal space to shout in Claude’s ear. His hand once again found Claude’s back. Claude leaned into it. Fuck it. Tyler was hot and obviously interested.

It didn’t take long to convince him to leave the club. He sent Jeff a quick text to let him know he was leaving, _not_ with Jakub, and got a line of smileys in return.

They were almost at the door when Claude looked back over his shoulder. Jakub was watching him. He gave him a tight smile and lifted his hand in a wave that Claude returned, but by the time his feet hit the sidewalk and Tyler’s hand curled around his hip all thoughts of Jakub were gone from his mind.

* * *

“What do you mean, no?” Claude didn’t bother with a hello. Max didn’t deserve one, after that last text. “You listened to the bassline, right? It’s gonna be huge! You can’t say no!”

“Oh yes I can! I told you to stay away from him! He’s going to tarnish your image!” Claude could practically see Max turning red. He rolled his eyes, putting Max on speaker as he moved through his condo.

“Right, because the guy who just won a VMA and was nominated for four Grammys is going to ‘tarnish my image’ just by working with me once.” Claude pulled off his t-shirt, and used it to mop his face. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and flexed momentarily. Yeah, he still had it. “Remember when you said the same thing about coming out?”

“Okay, so you won one. But trust me on this. This isn’t a good idea.” Max tried another angle. “The label will never go for it.”

“Maybe _they_ will listen to the bassline. I’ll send it right to Snider, Max. Don’t think I won’t,” Claude threatened.

“Jesus, don’t do that. Are you trying to give me a heart attack? It’s a good beat, okay, I’ll give you that. But it’s all wrong for you!”

“What are you even talking about? It’ll be in every club the same day it’s released!” Claude stopped by his bedroom to pick up a few towels. He tossed his sweaty t-shirt on the bed. Max protested some more but Claude cut him off.

“Max, listen to me. You’re my friend, okay, and a very dear one. But you’re also my agent, and I’m telling you that I’m doing this, whether you want me to or not.” Claude walked to his bathroom and laid the towels over the bar. He tugged off his basketball shorts, phone in one hand. “You can get the label to listen to you. I don’t know how, I’ve never questioned your methods. This song is going to be big, and I want in on it.”

“You’re killing me, G,” Max moaned. “This guy dedicated an entire fucking song to _sushi_.”

“And it went number one in like five seconds,” Claude said with a grin, yanking his underwear off. He picked them up with his toes and flipped them into the air, sending them neatly into the hamper. He raised both hands in victory. “Make this happen for me, Max.”

“Just promise me you’re not going to do anything stupid, like fall in love with him.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Claude said with a scoff as he started the shower. “I’m too shallow for that, remember? Besides, he doesn’t even like me like that. He just wants to work together.”

“No man sends a bouquet that ridiculous unless he wants in your pants.”

“Well, he’s not my type. Don’t worry. What could happen?”

“Famous last words,” Max said with a snort.


End file.
